About Me

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Hardheaded, lazy, sometimes crazy..or maybe a LOT of times..shy (really?) ... and uh..be nice to me and i'll be nice back..but insult my intelligence or backstab me..u'll just see what will happen..


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Dear you,

It's been almost 5 years that we've known each other. It feels like just yesterday i met you and get to know you. I know so little of you nowadays, unlike the old days, at some point, where we are THAT close, that we share every little things we had in mind. Oh how I wish we could turn back time, or at least, go back to the time where I started changing my view on you, started changing who I was to you, started all these ridiculous acts and emotions. I feel like just going back there, and smacked my old self so that I will get REAL. But, that would never happen. What has happened, . . . happened. They happened for a reason too.

Do you still remember, the days where we could just go out randomly, whenever we feel like to, and go just about anywhere, no matter how short or long the trip, how random, how little budget we have, in the end, we would still manage to have fun? I miss those days too, just like how you may miss them too.

Do you still remember, the days where we could talk almost about anything? Without thinking of the consequences, or having the problems like we have now? I know most of the things happening right now are mainly caused by me myself, and my own stupidity,ego, and hopelessness. Everyday, i hope those days to come back, even now, where i could listen to your stories and never get tired of it.

Do you still remember, you used to help me when I'm in a pinch, you used to be there always when I need you? You inspired me, that's why it is hard to forget all those things you ever did. Even the tiniest things, like asking how I am, could melt this stone heart of mine. You gave me a new meaning to love someone, not just by the looks, but by many other aspects as well.

Do you still remember, how we spent hours, sitting in cafes, diners, restaurants, just so we could do some revisions, or maybe, just so you could make me do my revisions. I believe you wouldn't need to have me to urge yourself to do so. You're just helping me, and I thank you for that. If it wouldn't because of you, i would still be that guy who procrastinates till the last minute of examination, to go and find people whom I can rely on, photocopying their notes, and struggle so much, just to end up getting average results.

Dear you,

For all I care, I would never have the thought of harming you, in any ways. It is just so happen that, sometimes, things get way over my head, and it burst like the Krakatoa volcano. I wish I could be more patient, and patient, and patient, so that I could bare all the things happening, and never let any harm come to you, like a knight I wanted to be.

As a weakling that I am, I'm not even fit to be a friend, what more to be your shield and sword. I really hoped that I could achieve something up to my name, but the way I see it, it is not happening, not now, not even in the near future. I need to do some purification, before I can even think of achieving such things.

As I type this, my vision is fading away, straying, in the land of the dream. I really hope that, we both end up meeting each other again, someday, somehow, as better friends, closer, than we ever before. I am exhausted, but I will never get tired of waiting, trying, and hoping. I will never forget those memories we had, and I'm hoping that we can build more memories to come, in this little diary, inside this cavity on my chest.

I really hope you'd be the one, whom I'd sacrifice and protect with all my life, share my happiness and sadness with, raise children with, and grow old with.
But if you're not meant to be, I hope you'd find the one, who'd be willing to do so with you, that you are willing to do so with too. If that time has come, I'd be the one who wishes you all your best, and pray for your happiness till the end.
May God Bless you, Ray.

ps: The silence is driving me crazy.........